Sunday, March 18, 2007
"Wanna Have you near me ... Wanna have you hear me say it ... No one needs you more than I need you"
Who do you think you are pulling me from my bed in the middle of the night? My eyes squint, my body coils up, resisting the beams that pour forth from the computer screen. Would that my hands could keep up with you! I’d answer your call with pen on paper by candle flicker.
But once uncaged you’re a bit vengeful … perhaps angry with me for ignoring you so long. So you spit forth your retaliation, sometimes in a venomous rage that leaves me sleepless for days. I suppose I deserve it.
I mean, who else in my life would I dare to shut out in such a fashion? If my child wakes me in the night I rise and give full attention. If my lover rolls over to me in the darkness I awaken and respond. If my employer rings my phone I immediately take action. If a friend in need knocks at my door I open my home. You are all of these things and yet I feel no guilt in turning my back on you. I would never think of putting any living thing in a box so stagnant, so soundproof, so tight that I could only hear it’s distant cries through the strange silence that is a suburban weeknight.
So I can forgive you for tormenting me these past days in your newfound freedom. All these weeks of my bemoaning your departure must have been extraordinarily exasperating for you, considering I had packed you up and put you away. Imagine my surprise when I found you there in such deplorable conditions!
a steel box
wrapped in numerous blankets
so as to stifle your cries
tucked in a dark corner.
My inspiration stuffed in storage because I was too busy living to make time for myself. But life was gray and robotic with such a colorful creature caged.
Starting out with this I thought of so many comparisons: a pesky mosquito; a seduction; an unrelenting master. But my inspiration is more of a dog on a leash. Sometimes it’s pulling me somewhere I’ve never been. Sometimes I’m pulling it back on course. Sometimes it runs off or I ignore it. And sometimes we just stroll while I sip a latte.P.S.--click on the photo for the link. Click here for more on inspiration.
I was excited to see your name on Sunday Scribblings! For some reason my link to your blog stopped working and then I assumed you gave up your blog. This has happened with a few of my links to blogger blogs. I think I just need to update them for some reason.
How are you?
I hope you are well. You seem well even if you have been locking up your inspiration! I bet you have been busy being a Mama. I know you know...it is important to take time for you.
Love to you my friend!
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