Saturday, April 22, 2006
The Untouchables
You don't realize how quickly time slips away until an old friend says: "I've got a conference. Are you free April 21? I'll be in town!" Then you get together and realize it's been five years.
All the kids are, of course older. The one who was 12 is now out of high school ... an early graduate. The one who was in second grade is now 12 and the one who was 4 is now in second grade! And your friend, the married mother of two, is now a single mom trying to be everything she can for her amazing, resiliant kids as well as something ... anything ... for herself. All I could do was listen, give her squeeze, tell the high school grad how proud I was and assure the 12-year-old that, though it annoys his mother, as a man it is his duty to leave basically empty containers in the refrigerator and pantry ... as long as he always ALWAYS refills the toilet paper roll!
My heart ached as I thought of her ex-husband, who is also my friend. From what he suffers it is hard to discern, but all the signs are there for certain struggles within his own mind, as well as his evident addictive nature and refusal to get help. So many people have reached out and, from what we're able to gather, he has walked away from each of them. This team of three marches on, getting stronger every day. I'm so proud of all of them, and so thankful that there are some friendships time and distance just can't touch.
All the kids are, of course older. The one who was 12 is now out of high school ... an early graduate. The one who was in second grade is now 12 and the one who was 4 is now in second grade! And your friend, the married mother of two, is now a single mom trying to be everything she can for her amazing, resiliant kids as well as something ... anything ... for herself. All I could do was listen, give her squeeze, tell the high school grad how proud I was and assure the 12-year-old that, though it annoys his mother, as a man it is his duty to leave basically empty containers in the refrigerator and pantry ... as long as he always ALWAYS refills the toilet paper roll!
My heart ached as I thought of her ex-husband, who is also my friend. From what he suffers it is hard to discern, but all the signs are there for certain struggles within his own mind, as well as his evident addictive nature and refusal to get help. So many people have reached out and, from what we're able to gather, he has walked away from each of them. This team of three marches on, getting stronger every day. I'm so proud of all of them, and so thankful that there are some friendships time and distance just can't touch.
// posted by HoBess @ 4/22/2006 08:35:00 AM 
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It is hard when friends' relationships break down, and when someone is not willing to seek help. Perhaps he will be able, in time, to accept assistance and repair what is hurting him. I hope he will be able to heal the pain his condition has caused. In the meantime, I wish your friend and her children well as they make their journey without him. Good luck to them all, and may you continue to treat them as kindly as you've demonstrated. Isn't that the essence of friendship?
-AM
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-AM
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